Tell me Your plans, God

I hate to admit this but I think I will take a step of faith to say out what that is in my heart. I admit I am daring enough to tell guys how I feel towards them however, sometimes, I do it in stupidity. I get into trouble a lot because of that. Those who I have got into trouble with, I hope you do not judge me because of that. I never had any malice in me. If you sense any, I would like to apologize now.

Recently, I have come to realized that I fall for people very easily. Is that good or bad, I do not know but Time, it will give me the answer I seek. I think the crux of the problem for me is because what I seek in a person is not really the looks but the beauty of their hearts, like how one keeps falling in love again with Jesus because of His goodness that we are saved. I’m trying to follow God’s way that is not to judge a person but to know the heart of the person. There are times I am wrong, there are times I am right.

I did confess not too long ago to a friend of mine in church. Why I did it? I just wanted to let it out and also I don’t want to be false to him in my friendship with him. He is simple and quiet in his life. A very sweet person yet wise beyond his years. He is a loner sometimes but so full of love for the person who he opens up to. He is a person, one would say, close to God’s heart. However, we are meant to be brother and sister in Christ. I would think this is what God told me in a dream. Inside there, I saw my parents, myself and Him playing badminton together. My parents hardly play badminton now but in their youth, they used to. I believe, in that dream; God told me His plans for us. In obedience to Him, I will follow God’s will and not mind.

Soon enough, I came to realize my feelings towards another person in my life. Someone who had touched my heart back in 2009, yes, I know… I am someone who melts easily with the goodness of peoples’ heart. It’s not healthy but hey, that is how I am built. It might be a simple gesture to the person but it meant a lot to me. This time, I don’t know if I want to tell the person or not. Changes are happening to the both of us and he might be leaving soon for another land. It is tearing me but I will believe something good will happen to him as he journeys on.

We are not placed where we are without a purpose. He guides us in our walks today and continues to walk with us till the day we are to face Him. I want to hold on to that. I pray that God will show me a sign soon. What is His plan for us now and the future? The only thing I can do now is to just keep praying for a sign.